Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Last Visit

I was hoping to see her twice before I left, but I was only able to see her once. We met halfway because they're doing work on their house. We had lunch and went to the aquarium. I had reservations about having my last visit be an outing like that, but I had a really good time.

I gave her a few gifts before leaving. I wanted to cry. I was reminded of the first time I ever said goodbye to her- also in a parking lot. She started to get sad, too, but I told her that when I did visit, I'd be able to stay longer. I'll see her in September. I want to go home for Thanksgiving so I don't miss our annual tradition, but I don't know how to convince my husband.

7 comments:

Jess said...

I'm sorry. :(

Glad you had a good "last" visit, though. I can't imagine how sad I'd be if our daughter's other mother moved far away!

tk91 said...

Hi...an emotional post with possibly so many mixed feelings! I can relate...

At the same time it is heartening to read of a birthmom who is walking a similar path...it gives me hope that I will continue to conquer my birthmother demons.

From my perspective...the distance may be beneficial for both of you. Maybe when your daughter is older, she'll be able to come visit you for extended visits. If you get past the first visit (which may challenge and shatter any preconceived ideas about your relationship with one another) and have subsequent visits you may grow to appreciate and know each other at an even deeper level.

I wish you the best in your new life!

Davin & Alli said...

I absolutely love your blog. I love how honest you are and open with your feelings. Thank you.

Jessalynn said...

I enjoy your blog. Thank you for blogging!

bedava chat said...
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Courtney said...

Dear Not Mother,

I hope that you start writing again. Your candor is appreciated! I am a birth mother and relinquished my daughter to adoption eleven years ago. The grief is incredibly hard to process as there is so little support for us birth moms.

I'm not sure where you moved to, but I have started a birth mother support group in the SF Bay Area. I'm finishing my graduate degree in Holistic Health Education and writing my thesis/integrative project on how marginalized groups, such as birth mothers, process trauma. I would love to connect with you so if you're open to it please email me.

Here is a link to my blog in case you might like to read it. http://thestoryofonebirthmother.blogspot.com/

In health,
Courtney

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